But for the Grace of God

When I was a kid, my Grandma use to say that quite a bit.  "There but for the grace of God, go I (or us)."  She also said, "there is a lid for every pot" every time we would see an odd couple, but that's a a different post.  Anyway, she would say it when we would see someone less fortunate or with a disability or going through any kind of rough time.  She had a number of reasons for saying this.  It would be to try to get me to focus on the what is good in life and not the bad.  It would be to keep me from judging others and their situations.  But mostly I think it was to get me to count my blessings and see how really good things were.

This year I have thought about that quote so many times.  I am not going to lie, when the floor fell from beneath me, I had so much self-pity.  Poor, poor Cari.  My husband cheated (while I was pregnant), he is leaving, Kaelyn won't have her family together and now I am a single Mom of a newborn.  Poor me.  Feel bad for me, pity me.   I would hear stories about happy families, new babies being born, moving into bigger homes.  Poor, poor me.  I can't have my happy family now, I won't be having more babies (with him anyway), I won't be moving as a family into a nice, new home.  And then BAM reality hit me in the face.  Hard.  It seemed that every where I turned someone had MUCH bigger mountains to climb.  A terminally ill child, a husband dying unexpectedly with 2 very young kids, a wife finding out her husband had been secretly video taping her daughter, a preemie baby born much too early, a family almost losing a son to drowning...and I could go on and on. There but for the grace of God, go I. Wow, when I started to think about it, I am blessed beyond measure.  For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a Mother.  If you asked any of my friends, they could all tell you that my dream in life was to be a Mommy.  Don't pity me, be glad for me. My dream is fulfilled.  I have wonderful friends and family.  I have an awesome job that I love and I make good money.  So my idea of my little family was not longer the reality.  But Kaelyn and I are a family.  We are a wonderful, happy, little family. 

Love to all,

Cari